Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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