Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
