we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
