Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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