Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
