WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
