I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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