i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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