we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
