Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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