My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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