I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
