She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
