It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
