Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
