I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
