Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
