i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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