so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
