Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
