If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
