I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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