I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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