well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
