YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
