redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
