How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
