We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
