Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
