The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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