I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
