just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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