No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
