I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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