And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
