Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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