I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
