no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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