ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
