Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
