sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
