you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
