how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
