Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Houston, we have a squirter
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
