Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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