so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
