weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
