He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
