if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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