Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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