Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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