I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
