but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
