Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize