yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
