Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My cat gives me a boner
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
