if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
