When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
