White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize