Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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