tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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