she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
