Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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