why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Houston, we have a squirter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
