She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
