i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
