just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
