Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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