her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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