'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
