I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
