I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
